FatheringConferenceApril 5, 2016 -- Westchester County Executive Robert P. Astorino today announced the launch of the R.E.A.L. Parenting Program for Stronger Families, a first-of-its-kind project in New York designed to help noncustodial parents – mostly dads – find employment, pay child support and get back into the lives of their children. The acronym stands for Responsible. Employed. Active. Loving.

"The money collected through child support is often the only thing that prevents children from living in poverty," Astorino said. "But many times there are barriers that prevent parents from paying their child support. These could be lack of employment, substance abuse, mental health issues or other problems. Our goal is to break down those barriers, and to help offer solutions that will make families stronger."

Spearheaded by the Department of Social Services and developed with the state Office of Temporary and Disability Assistance and others, the centerpiece of the R.E.A.L. Parenting Program is that the county will cut the debt dads owe to DSS as they successfully complete specific milestones.

For instance, if they complete the parenting and employment training, they will get a 25 percent reduction on the arrears owed to DSS. If they find a job and keep it for 90 days, they will get another 25 percent reduction. And if they pay their child support for a year, then their total payment will be dropped to $500.

"To be clear, the child's mother would still be receiving financial support the entire time," Astorino said. "The debt reduction is from money owed to the county. Naturally we'd like to get that back, but more important, we want to see fathers supporting their families – gaining the pride of doing so, while working and being actively involved in their children's lives."

The announcement came as part of the 2nd Annual New York Fathering Conference, which drew 400 people from across the country to the County Center in White Plains.

The theme of this year's New York Fathering Conference was "Taking Care of Business: Equipping Dads for Parenting, Employment and Wellness." The event included 21 workshops on topics such as job retraining, navigating government programs, men's health and wellness and parenting skills.

Presented in partnership with the New York Fathering Conference Planning Committee, as well as sponsors Entergy and NewYork-Presbyterian, the event emphasized the critical role a father plays in the family, promoted the hashtag #DadBeThere as a recurring slogan.

Presenters included some of the nation's leading speakers in the fatherhood movement, such as Dr. Ron Mincy, Columbia University; Kenneth Braswell, Fathers, Incorporated; and Chef Jeff Henderson, Food Network.

Chef Jeff's keynote address told the story of his journey from inner-city drug dealer to best-selling author, television celebrity and proud husband and father of six. As an African-American male growing up on the streets of Southern California, Chef Jeff's parents divorced when he was young and he took to a life of selling drugs. That landed him in prison, and he spent 10 years of his life incarcerated.

"No matter how good your game, no matter how good your crew, eventually everyone goes down," he said, looking straight at a group of teenage boys sitting in the front row. "Everyone goes down in the end."

But it was while in prison that he found redemption. And education. Today he devotes himself to sharing the lessons he had to learn the hard way.

"Anytime, anywhere – education," he said. "There is something unique in all of us that produces extraordinary results. If you focus on your gift, success is all but guaranteed."

"I'm no celebrity," he added. "I'm just a homeboy who changed his mindset."

DC Dunkel and Da'teek Jeffress traveled from Schenectady to attend the conference, representing a support and advocacy group called Community Fathers.

Growing up, Dunkel says, he saw how his mother struggled to raise him and his three sisters on her own – and he doesn't want his own two children to face the same challenges. He said the New York Fathering Conference presented a rare opportunity for men to come together and work for positive change in society.

"Usually men don't come together to speak of something of substance like this," said Dunkel, 23. "We come together to talk about sports or basketball or things like that, but we don't come together to say, 'How can I better the lives of my children? How can I better the life of myself?' So when we come together and do that – when we hold each other accountable – that's when you see changes happen."

Jeffress, 25, agreed. When asked what it meant for a dad to "be there," he said it means being there emotionally, financially, spiritually and physically – no matter what.

"Personally you may not feel like you're the best thing in life," he said. "But to a child, you're everything. When a child feels like they have somebody there for them at all times, they feel the world is theirs."

Photo 1: County Executive Robert P. Astorino, center, presented the 2nd Annual New York Fathering Conference at the Westchester County Center in White Plains on April 5, 2016. He was joined by keynote speaker Chef Jeff Henderson, right, of Food Network; and DSS Deputy Commissioner Joseph D. Kenner, chair of the New York Fathering Conference Planning Committee.

Photo 2: DC Dunkel, right, and Da'teek Jeffress traveled from Schenectady to attend the New York Fathering Conference, representing a support and advocacy group called Community Fathers.